If I knew what i know now, back then

Getting a positive diagnosis for Downs syndrome is heartbreaking. There really is just no other way to put it. I wish i could make that moment seem better, but in that moment, looking a my poor sick baby, i felt like the world was collapsing around me.

As I've said before, I was so young when I had Harry. I didn't think i was then but looking back I wasn't prepared for anything of this magnitude. I convinced myself that i was young and healthy and had been doing everything right, so there was no way that anything could be wrong with my baby, I wasn't high risk.

I was wrong obviously. And 19 months in (Where did that time go?!) I know now that it really isn't the end of the world. If I could go back to that moment, there are a few things I would love to tell that scared. tired girl...

1. He will still love you more then you can imagine - Harry having disabilities doesn't make him any less of a human. He's still a fun loving cheeky monkey who loves me and Sam more then i ever thought possible.

2. You wont love him any less - One of the biggest things I was worried about was not being able to love him. What a stupid idea that was. I didn't know this amount of love was possible.

3. He can still do everything you dreamed for him - When i was pregnant I had huge dreams for Harry and hearing his diagnosis, I thought he would never do any of them. But he can do anything he sets his mind to. It might take him a little longer to get there, but he sure will!

4. There is a whole world out there you will discover and fall in love with - Harry has opened so many doors for me. His diagnosis has led me to meet some amazing people, and gave me something to write about, after not writing for years because i was uninspired. He is my inspiration. Every single day.

5. You will all be just fine.- And we are. We are just a family getting by every single day

I'm not saying that everything is perfect. Nothing is every perfect and there are struggles that parents with kids with no special needs will never understand, and i worry every single day that Harry will be singled out. But we will get through it, because its not the end of the world.

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